InBlogNito

Conversation btw me and friend, R, on msn:

R: My bf told me he needed some space, and I understand and totally respect that, but when I text him asking him if he wanted to hang out tonight, he didn’t reply

Me: (silence)

Me (inside my head): The boy said he needed some space, so you text him? What part of ’space’ don’t you understand?

R: There’s a right way to do space you know

Me: (silence)

Me (inside my head): right way? huh? And anyway, if you been together two weeks how come he needs space already? That sounds like a relationship destined for failure

R: blah blah blah, bitch bitch bitch, I’m insecure, I know I am and I try so hard not to be, but I can’t help it

Me:  (silence)

Me (inside my head): Well that will happen when you and your best friend are both screwing the same guy and going behind each others back to try and be the first one to get him to commit to you.

It doesn’t matter that I don’t reply to her msgs, she’ll keep talking forever. I try to be the nice friend and say ‘well, just go do your own thing, the sooner you quit bugging him, the sooner he will come crawling back for attention, you gotta play him! Make him think he’s the one in control, when in fact it’s you etc.’ or whatever piece of good, sound advice I happen to offer on any given night. She never takes my advice though, ever.

I just want to give it to her straight up: These idiots are losers! They have done nothing in the past eight years (cept pop out a dozen kids btw them), gone nowhere (cept to collect their benefits from the government). All they do is backstab each other, sleep with each other, and generally lead unfulfilling lives. I moved on from these people seven years ago, I realised they’re just not worth my time. R is a smart girl, she could do anything she wanted, go anywhere she wanted! She has her parents support in whatever she wants to do. Yet she chooses a life of mistrust in every single person she knows.

One day she said to me "I know I’m always going to have a shit life, and I’m just accepting that". It’s really sad that she feels she has to have that outlook on life when she’s got at least another 50 or so years to live. That’s an incredible amount of time to live such a life, especially when you could do a million other things in that time.

But how in the hell do I even begin to try and get her to understand all this? One thing I’ve learnt in the past is that you just can’t help people who don’t want to help themselves. So maybe I don’t even bother trying? That doesn’t feel right though either. She of all people should have also learnt the same thing, all she’s been trying to do for the past eight years is help these people, she really just needs to help herself now. I guess I just wait in the sidelines till she’s ready to do that.