InBlogNito

Should I be flattered by the fact that a guy who I hardly know and haven’t seen in well over a year comes home all the way from Canada and thinks, in advance of getting on the plane, that while he’s here we should, you know, get it on? I have absolutely no desire to undertake in any such activities with him, there is only one man I want to do these things with right now (though I’m attempting to move on from this, that’s another story).

After skirting around the issue in a very obvious way, he finally gets down to business tonight on msn:

Him -  "well i mite possibly meet you up one nite next week like mon or something"

Me - *thinking* ‘wtf? who says I even want to?‘

Then he says…. (wait for it…..)

Him - "i dont know what i would do with you though"

Seriously??? Why not just say it plain as day: ‘wanna get together and fuck on Monday?’

THEN it got even better:

Him - have you been doing much exercising in the last year

Me - is that supposed to be a polite way of saying ‘have you lost any weight?’

Him - yes

Me - well then why didn’t you just say so? It was transparent as all hell anyways, don’t bother trying to cover it up and make it look pretty

Him - so?

Me - so what? you actually think I’m going to dignify such a pathetic question with an answer?

Him - olk

Him- sorry

Yea, I’m sorry too, sorry you’re so pathetic and sorry that apologies very rarely wash with me. They should be reserved for occasions where there is a genuine, unintended consequence that the instigator did not anticipate as a result of their actions. Therefore they feel bad and are sorry that it happened. ‘Sorry’ doesn’t get you out of being a dumbass.

Back when I was at primary school I learnt to play the violin for a year, but didn’t really get into that, so I picked up the clarinet instead. I ended up having lessons and playing in orchestra’s for about 6 or 7 years after that, but eventually dropped it half way through high school. I had much more important things to worry about, like who my friends were and how cool I was. Ditching the instrument didn’t help, I was still a geek. Still am in fact, but much prouder of it these days . Anyway, in the past 10 years I’ve picked up my instrument about as many times as there are fingers on one hand. Not many. When I returned home this weekend I decided to dig it out and have a go. I just had a half hour refresher, and even managed to get through the first few lines of Moon River, Unchained Melody, Silent Night and a few other tunes. It was tough starting off, but it was amazing how quickly my instincts kicked in and my fingers just knew what holes to cover and open as I read over the notes. I’ve always wanted to learn piano, and am still determined that I will one day. The local high schools here offer interest classes in the evening, so I might take that up later in the year. I’ll need to invest in a keyboard at the very least, but I’d also like to spend more time with the clarinet, learning the notes again etc., before starting anything new.

What about you? Do you play as well as Bach and Mozart? Or are you tone deaf?
Leave me a comment and let me know whether or not you play/ed and what instrument.

I tried to set up a poll, for the Week 6 challenge, but blogsome doesn’t like the html code I’m trying to insert

I have two weddings to attend, next weekend and the one after. No guest is going to both weddings, besides yours truly of course. You know what that means don’t you? Two weddings, one dress! Or outfit of some sort. I’m not a dress wearer. I loooove dresses, but they hug and highlight my HUGE stomach, so I just don’t even go there. Till Sunday. After shopping for a couple of hours (and finding some bargains! more on that later…) I found a dress in the very last shop we went to, at closing time. It was perfect. Not the ideal colour for weddings, being black, but a black dress can be worn so many more times! It was perfect, it fitted perfectly, even though it was a size smaller than I’d normally fit. It was sooo flattering, highlighted the good stuff, hid all the bad. Who am I kidding, it highlighted nothing, there just isn’t anything worth highlighting. But it hid all the really bad stuff. But bad news, all those bargains had sucked me dry, I had no immediate funds to pay for the dress. I couldn’t afford it right then and there. So I put it on hold till 6pm the following night. Less than 24 hours. Sounds simple enough right? So I rearrange my day, drive to a closer bus stop to town (so I can get off the bus and start driving sooner), go to my course, it finishes nice and early so I get back on the bus, get in the car, start driving. I beat the rush hour traffic and made it out to the mall in plenty of time. Make a beeline for the shop. And find this:

Can you believe it? Store Closed. Permanently. Packed up. Nothing left in the shop. How the fuck can you put a dress on hold one day and come back the next to find the whole shop HAS JUST GONE? And seriously, you can’t do that to me in my current fragile state! I was literally fighting back tears in the middle of the mall. It felt like a nightmare. I was rather concerned for my mental state. Was I imagining this? I couldn’t believe my own eyes, I had to take a picture, so I could prove to myself that I am not insane (yet).

So I walked around in a daze for a while, not knowing what the fuck to do. Eventually I found my old friend, the jewellry store. Two gold charms for my bracelet and a pair of earrings later, I was somewhat revived. But now I have to find a whole new outfit. And it has to be an outfit. A co-ordinate masterpiece consisting of skirt, top and cardi. I have the shoes at least. I’m so disheartened by the whole fucking charade that I really couldn’t give a shit and would quite happily show up in jeans and an old tee shirt. BTW, that was the name of the shop, Charade, clearly appropriate seeing as they are now in liquidation.

On to other news….

I have no hair. At least that’s what it feels like, having at least half of it chopped off. I’m not one of those people who goes in religiously every 8 weeks and has a cut/colour/blow wave/whatever (what the heck is a blow wave anyways?!). When I was at college I got a $20 hair cut once a year, cut it right back and just left it to do it’s thing for another year. I guess I still haven’t got out of that mindset. Plus it doesn’t really bother me. At least not until the point where it bothers me. About 3 weeks ago I reached the point where I couldn’t stand my looooong hair once again, but I held off till today, being about a week before the first wedding. The hairdresser I’ve seen the last couple of times does an awesome job, so I went to see her once again. She must love me, I don’t visit very often, but when I do, I just let her cut it all off and do whatever she likes. I think she gets nervous, there are a lot of people who would take the plunge and then burst into tears at the short result. But meh, hair is hair, mine seems to grow as well as anyone elses, so it’s not a big deal. And it looks good! I won’t get it into a ponytail for at least two months, but that’s fine. Might actually encourage me to do a little something wtih my hair in the morning.

Tomorrow morning me and my lack of hair are probably going to wake up smelling like sheep. One of my bargains of the weekend was a 40% off wool duvet. The ex had one and I rather liked it (despite dreaming I was in the woolshed down on the farm once in a while), so I went and got me one. A king size, cos I need the extra length on either side of my giant queen size mattress. It’s one of those 3-in-1 type deals, you can have the light duvet for summer, the medium one for when it gets cooler and then you can clip them together for those really long cold nights of winter. And boy does it smell like a whole paddock of sheep when you first take the duvet outta the bag!  Then, of course, there was the issue of new linen. I looooove my duvet cover so much, it’s gorgeous, and I haven’t found anything else I like even half as much. When I checked a while ago they didn’t have any left in stock in king size, but I checked again yesterday and they did! It arrived today, so tonight I’m sleeping with the smell of sheep.

I also went to that doctor today. I kinda can’t afford it (after purchasing all the bare necessities of course, jewellry and bedding) but I can’t afford not to either! They are doing the usual round of bloods, then she’ll send me to an OBGYN and maybe for a colonoscopy (what do you call a specialist who deals with that shit? literally…). And then, who knows. Maybe we’ll find the cause. Maybe not. I’m  hoping there’s a cause. I don’t want anything to be seriously wrong, but at least with some sort of cause or diagnosis there might be a way forward. She also gave me an Rx for multi vitamins. And a little something else to see me through till we get that way forward. Not really happy with the idea of taking pills, but again, don’t think I can just ignore this till it goes away. It’s kinda gone beyond that point.

And lastly. I did it. I called him! Can you believe it? I can’t… I sat at work for like half an hour working up the nerve. I was hoping for voicemail. I really wanted the voicemail - so I didn’t have to embarrass him when it took a minute to realise who I was. Turns out he was there. But he made the connection right away, not even the merest of pauses. So coffee it is. Friday lunchtime. After I go to another Dr and then the dietician. I’m washing my jeans right now so they’ll be dry in time for casual Friday. Usually I take casual to a whole other level and wear the jeans I already wore 3 times, but this week I’ll make an exception

nicb at orcon dot net dot nz - for the password

So… I got those signs I was looking for. I got home yesterday after a huge walk (that’s a whole other post in itself!) and found a missed message on MSN… then I opened up my iGoogle homepage and saw this post in my feed… then today I woke up to an email from Kari who said the suspense is killing her! We can’t have that, so….

…I admit, it was me! I sent Kari the Barnes and Noble gift card.

I had a bookmark clean out a little while ago, and found Kari’s wishlist. I think there was something i wanted on it, which is why I bookmarked it. There was no reason for me to keep the list now, but for some reason, unknown to me at the time, I didn’t delete that bookmark. Then when Shai gave some ideas about how to Support-a-Blogger for Week 3’s project, I thought ‘ah-ha! That’s why I kept that list bookmarked’. I wanted to say thanks to Kari for introducing me to the project, along with many other reasons, including those I mentioned more cryptically in the last post.

Thank goodness it arrived! I’m always nervous about buying something online, I’m not a big Amazon user because of my location (I once bought a book for $0.37. The shipping was about $10 lol). I don’t know why they stuffed up on the address, but thankfully it made it to you anyway! Enjoy shopping, and let me know what you end up getting Kari .

Despite my many downfalls (yea, I know I’m not afraid to be bitch!) I do consider myself a fairly generous person where I can be. Often the easiest way to do this is to buy a gift, especially when you’re as uncreative as I am! After being a student for almost 4 years and then spending the past year living from pay day to pay day while paying off some of the debt I accumulated, I’m finally in a place where I can be more generous with gifts and such like. For my brothers birthday this week I offered him flights to where I live (and free accommodation of course!) so he is going to keep an eye out for a good concert and will come and visit sometime soon for that. I was excited to be able to think of something a little more creative than the usual CD or DVD, especially as he sent me two gorgeous pieces of jewellry from London for my last two birthdays (he has returned home now, I don’t have to fly him here all the way from London!)

This week Shai set us the task of supporting a blogger by being generous. As soon as I was done reading the post I had just the thing in mind. I have thus far ignored the trust theme of Shai’s instructions, as I’m waiting for a sign that my generosity has been received. I sent a little something to someone to say thanks for sharing with me, and many others, their life, both the ups and downs, and for inspiring me to be a little more optimistic, to take the time and make the effort to get into the spirit of things and to make the most of the good times. That’s all I’ll say for now….

In addition to this, I have also spent the weekend baking for a friend who is a little closer to home. I have an online friend who I have been chatting to for many years now, though the chance to meet has never presented itself. He always remembers my birthdays and sents me a gift at christmas time, as well as helping me out in many other ways over these years. This week he sent me a new cord for my laptop charger along with some discs full of all sorts of funny clips and pictures that will provide hours of amusement! This is just one of many examples of his generosity. I bake quite often, and being a woman, am able to multi-task and chat online at the same time without burning everything! Anyone who’s ever tasted my baking has been completely won over (I can’t show modesty here, I rock in the kitchen, there’s just no two ways about it!), and N has always been intrigued by my love of baking but never been able to sample any. For my birthday last year he even sent me a cookbook full of all sorts of yummy things to make. This weekend I have tried out a couple of recipes as well as whipped up a batch of my infamous-and-never-fails-to-please russian fudge, and have prepared a package to send to N:

I checked the weather at his place for the next couple of days, and there’s a cold front coming through, so these should be ok on his doorstep for the day. I’ll send them on the overnight courier tomorrow (after walking carefully to work with them in my bag!). The chocolate covered balls are apricot truffles on the inside, they are yummy!

I’m looking forward to finding out how other people have shown their generosity this week, though of course the point is not to brag about it. Generosity should be accompanied by virtuosity and modesty, but it would be great to hear the creative ways in which people undertook this weeks task

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Now playing: Wu-Tang Clan Old Dirty Bastard - Shimmy Shimmy Ya
via FoxyTunes   

Well, January has been and gone… thought I’d combine a few random events/observations into one post, none are so big they deserve an entire post of their own. I’m waiting for my Nutrimetics Mineral Masque to set before I rinse off with lukewarm water. It’s hot as hell here and I just walked up the hill home, so I’m actually looking forward to the lukewarm shower.

• Last week my roommates Dad came to stay. She found out recently that he is in fact gay. And both her parents knew this before they got married. However, they were the only two who happened to have this oh so minor piece of information. Of course there is nothing wrong with being gay. However, I happen to use the word ‘gay’ a LOT. Like all day every day. Anything that is totally and utterly stupid is ‘gay’. This does not mean I think all gay people are totally and utterly stupid, it only works in the reverse of that. My terrible overuse of the word to cover any and every situation (I think I need to make a February resolution: find a new word to replace ‘gay’ in my vocabulary) meant that I was petrified I would describe something totally and utterly stupid as ‘gay’ in front of roommates newly out of the closet gay father. I was sooooo close to making it through the weekend, till he took us out for dinner on Sunday night and the ‘g’ word just slipped right out. I attempted a quick coverup by saying ’so totally and utterly stupid’ - in order to clarify my use of the term. He paid for dinner, so I’m guessing he took no personal offense. Maybe neither him nor roommate even noticed…. I would ask her, but it’s a sensitive topic (as you would expect when she’s been lied to her whole life) so I usually wait for her to bring it up first.

• The new girl started at work on Monday, the one who is filling my old position. Back when they were taking applications and interviewing my manager told me there was a girl who submitted her photo and everyone on the selection panel knew who she was talking about when she said ’so how about the Nicola-lookalike?’. On and on it went, they all felt the need to tell me this girl looked just like me. Then they decided to interview her, and I got to spy on all the interviewees from my desk, so I picked her out (one obvious difference - she is a red head, I’m a blonde - the photo was B&W). Anyway, then they made a choice and suddenly they stopped talking about the girl who looked just like me, so I figured she was out and the other non-lookalike girl was in. Then H showed up on monday morning, and what to you know… she’s my lookalike! Apart from the red hair thing… and the whole she’s way skinnier than me thing…. and the whole she’s engaged-to-be-married thing (I never understood the need for that entire phrase… I know there are engagements that break off, or ones that last forever and the couple just never get around to getting married, but isn’t the purpose, most of the time, or at least at the time of the proposal, of getting engaged to get married? weird). However, not only does she look somewhat vaguely like me, she is actually just like me! Soooo many things we think exactly the same way. And neither of us are afraid to let people know what we think. We both cough and splutter pointedly when following smoker walking down the street. We both complain loudly to our friends and then make a point of walking fast past a slow walker. We both hate going to huge crowded events where there are way too many people. We will complain bitterly when stupid movie trainee’s are complete fucktards. You know what I mean, we’re the type of people who completely embarrass our friends when we go out with our loud, pointed complaining.

• I got to finish work early today. Yay!! We’re moving desks, and so we had to pack everything up and leave early so they can swap about 20 people to different desks. Also, I’m finally (two months later) getting paid my full salary. It wasn’t a huge deal, I wasn’t starving to death or anything, but that’s MY money they’re hanging onto and making interest off. It should be in my bank account earning me interest! So now I have been caught up on the extra $$, I’m going shopping this weekend. Number one on the shopping list? A vacuum cleaner. Exciting huh? No… you’re right, not exciting at all, but much better than other roommates dodgy Dyson vacuum cleaner that doesn’t suck AT ALL, while the extendable cord insists on unextending it self right back to the plug in the wall socket while you’re trying to suck at least 1% of the dirt out of the carpet.

• Today, when I was walking home early from work, there were a bunch of guys mooning the cars on the motorway from the overpass. There a huge sporting event in town tonight, one where nobody actually watches the games and just dresses up and gets pissed for the fun of it all, so they were all wearing not much and had a blow up doll with them… I couldn’t even desribe what little they were actually wearing, I was paying no attention. Then right as I walked past they were all ‘can you take a picture of all of us together?’ Sure… no problem. So I took a picture of 5 guys mooning the traffic at 3 in the afternoon. What a way to wrap up the week!

• This is my new BFF. I’ve been using a variety of dodgy DIY methods for trimming for quite some time, and finally saw one of these marked way down when I was out shopping one lunch time. I wish I’d just gone ahead and paid full price for one years ago! It’s soooo much easier, and produces a much neater result! Now if only there were someone else around to appreciate it….

• Speaking of which, I saw him while I was out shopping last weekend. He saw me first, which is unusual, because I always see people I know first and then have to tackle them to the ground to get them to see me back. He was all ’sorry I haven’t called I only just got back to work and then I got real sick but I’ll call this week’. He said it like that, one fast and unpunctuated sentence. I had to believe him on the illness front, he sounded terrible. And it’s now a whole week later and no phone call. He always has these elaborate excuses for not calling…. why do I keep bothering?! At least he didn’t lose my number yet…. well I’m assuming so, seeing as he stated the intention to call without having to ask for my number again.

• Finally, I saw Juno again last night. It was just as funny. What wasn’t funny was the guy next to us who was one of those laugh-out-loud people. You know, the ones that are sooo loud that the entire theatre misses the next line in the script? Little annoying…. what wasn’t annoying was the lack of fucktardness by the ticket seller. He was a real sweetie. Not only did he notice that I had my loyalty card out, but he also kept hold of it and swiped it through for roommates ticket. And he noticed we had the summer movie card thing that needed stamping and didn’t give us some BS about how we couldn’t both have a stamp. And he was all chatty and friendly without being one of those annoying OTT try-hard cashiers. And he was a Trainee! I’m still writing to complain, but I’ll be sure to mention his impeccable service too.