The perfect text message
So, it’s no secret I’m madly in love with lusting after a certain lawyer… To catch anyone up who needs it, I met him over a year ago, and still think about him more often than I should. I saw him before christmas and he said ‘we should catch up for coffee’ and I gave him my card. TWO months later I rang him, because I knew he would never rang me. We set a coffee date and he bailed, we set another one and he bailed again, I said ‘rhat’s ok, third time’s a charm’ and the third time never came….
Till yesterday
Yesterday (being Sunday in this part of the world) I was working away (8 hours, unpaid) when I decided to treat myself for lunch and went to the bagel shop. It happens to be right opposite his house. (Yes, this is the closest bagel shop to my work!!). So I went and enjoyed a delicious garlic and herb cream cheese bagel. Then (of course, because I had just eaten a garlic and herb bagel) I bumped into him on the walk back to work. We had a quick chat, where I babbled away for a couple of minutes (while hoping like hell there was no herb stuck in my teeth), then when there was a pause, he would just look. And he wasn’t just looking at me like ‘omg, you’re so boring, how do I get away’. It was more of a McDreamy looking at Meredith look. You know the one. Then to prevent myself from jumping him right then and there, I would babble on few a couple more minutes… it was terrible. But he did say ‘hey, if you’re still around later, give me a text, we could catch up’.
So after many calls to the BFF (who was on the PHONE! got the voicemail every time) and dumping my dilemma on a good guy friend instead (poor thing!) I rang tbe lawyer and we met for coffee. More babbling and staring ensued.
Then, later on, BFF and I composed the perfect text message. It went a little something like this:
"Finally finished and going home! Was good to catch up today, I just wanted to say I was reminded of how terribly attractive you are. Hope you enjoy your evening"
What do you think? Pretty good huh? Nice and casual… nothing dodgy, just a compliment. Then (2 looooong hours later) I get the perfect reply:
"Hi only just saw your message, very kind of you to say that, thank you for the coffee will have to do it again sometime, take care"
What do you think? It’s a little bit of a brush off… but that’s him for you. I didn’t really expect any declaration of love (or at least lust!). I just wanted him to know, in as little detail as possible, how incredibly hot I think he is and how much I lust after him lol.
I desperately wanted to kiss him… He is an excellent kisser, and I need a damn good kiss, asap! The ex was terrible. And there’s been noone since. I need to be reminded of how great kissing can be!!
Please leave a comment below and tell me what you’d do next! I don’t know what to do… And (as cliched as this sounds) I would really just like to have him as a good friend. He’s an awesome person and I really admire his ambitious nature and dedication to work (I’d be happily married if I was married to a workaholic haha). And he’s extremely handsome, I’d be happy just looking (if I found someone else to be doing the touching with! tehe), because at the end of the day, he doesn’t have any ambitions in the family area, so obviously any permanent relationship is out of the question. What do you think?
It’s a difficult situation. I don’t think he sounds horribly reliable. And all that brushing off….not cool. I think you deserve better, but that’s just me
Thanks Kari, we all deserve someone who appreciates us for us, and doesn’t muck us around, I just set my sights on the wrong person. I feel better now, I feel in a position to move on, I sent the text, I’ve blogged about it, I think I’ve accepted that it just isn’t meant to be. I need to take care of myself first and foremost right now, I need to leave well enough alone for a while, someone else will come along soon enough
Comment by Kari — April 7, 2008 @ 11:35 pm
I’m with Kari. I know you want him, lust him, but what you want doesn’t match up with what he gives you. You want to be romanced, lusted and chased and he’s just not the man for you.
Girl I would have not given him a third chance because his signals where saying, “I’m just not that into you.” (read this book by that name btw)
As much as that stings, getting all caught up in a relationship where you love him deeply and he keeps hurting and not being there for you is worse.
What should you do. Noting. If he is into you, he’ll call, text, come by something. Your part is done. Even if he just wants to be friends, the balls in his court.
Sorry I’m the old woman whose been around the block a time or twenty and I hate to see people getting hurt.
Thanks for dropping by, it’s good have this support! I’ve already been through the hurt thing with him, I’m only setting myself up for a second round. I’m starting to feel happier now though, I sent the message, it was there, he can follow it up, or not, but at least I didn’t sit here idly waiting for something to happen when he might not have even known I was still into him. I can move on knowing I gave it my best shot, but it’s just not meant to be
Comment by Michele — April 8, 2008 @ 12:58 am
Looks like Kari & Michele hit the nail in the nose. DO NOTHING. If he asks you out again cool if not oh well his loss! Go for what you want not what you can get!
You’re all wonderful! Exactly what I need to hear, I love my BFF, but if I even mention a guys name, she’s got my wedding planned and wants to know when the first baby is due!! She’s a dreamer, like me, and speaks from the heart, but sometimes you need to hear the cold hard truth from someone else’s more sensible head, even though you may already know it in your own.
Comment by Jo — April 12, 2008 @ 11:50 pm
imma have to agree with the previous comments. life’s too short to be pining over someone who isn’t as interested.
on a more positive note, i loved that text message you sent. ballsy if i may say so. you’re smart and strong. you won’t have trouble finding that one person for you sweetie
Thanks! It took a bit of courage, and when I didn’t get the reply for a few hours, I was getting nervous, but I’m glad I did. I put it out there as a genuine compliment, which is how he took it, but I think I also succeeded in letting him know that I’m here, I’m interested, and it’s up to him. Nothing is likely to come of it, but at least I did something, it would be worse to pine after someone who didn’t even know you were interested because you never let them know
Comment by sushi — April 13, 2008 @ 6:13 pm
Landed here from toni’s blog. Anyways, I have to agree with all previous comments. I think he is not interested. Been in the same boat when I was still single but I guess you are stronger than I do. There is this guy introduced to me. He’s the type that every girl would go gaga about. He got my number, told me he’ll call/text and maybe we should go out sometime. He never called, so I rang him…to cut it short, he dated me once. Then, no calls, no text. I text or call from time to time until he told me he doesn’t have plans of getting married. I got it, he’s not interested but for a time, I can’t get over him. I said, no harm, I just wanted to text him anyways I am single and unattached. It took sometime but the feelings eventually went away. From my experience, when a guy likes/loves you, he’ll do everything to keep the communications open.
Just take it easy, before you know it, your feelings are already gone!
Thanks Nina! Great advice, sounds like you’ve got a man now, so that’s awesome. I never really get jealous of girls with great guys like some girls can, instead it gives me hope for a happy ending
Comment by nina — April 14, 2008 @ 5:23 am