A brief glimmer…
Thank you all for your comments, in my head I know you’re all right! It’s been a year though, and I’ve chanted the mantra most of that time: "he’s just not that into you". I also think I failed to mention that I went out of my way to avoid liking anyone for FOUR years. Not that it was all that hard, for two of those years the only guys who hit on me were taken, anything from having an on/off gf to married with kids. Seriously. Ugh. Then there was the lawyer…
But you’re right, balls in his court now, I’ve put it out there, it’s obvious, it’s up to him. Part of me (cos girls are silly like this) wants to carry out some sort of relationship, I need a bigger ending, or just an ending, instead of all this ’see you again’, ‘we should catch up’ kind of stuff. I know it’s destined for failure and it’s highly self-destructive to take that path… But, on the off chance it might actually work, and so that I know once and for all instead of wondering my whole life, I want to do it anyway. Plus I know he’s a great kisser, and I need a damn good kiss right now, the ex was terrible! Anyway, I’ll leave it alone, and see what happens (which we all know is nothing!).
On another note…. I picked up my flatmate from work, so we could go to a party. Actually we were ‘making an appearance’ at the party. Not because we are that important, but because we don’t like some people there. Which flatmate makes painfully obvious. But because they are young and drunk, they don’t notice. It was actually kinda cool, I got to see some of the kids from my floor at the hostel where I was an RA in 2006.
But, back to the purpose of this little story. I went to pick up flatmate from work, and she counted some money and stock and sorted out whatever it is she needed to sort out, then we went upstairs to the office to drop everything off, and I met her manager there. I’d seen a picture. Think axe-murderer mugshot. Or grumpy grey old fat bearded man at least. He was not either of those things, grey yes, older yes, but I actually felt a brief glimmer of attraction! It was the oddest feeling… however, it gives me hope, there’s a chance I might find somebody else I like just as much, if not more, than the above lawyer. And not one I think I like, or force myself to like, and settle just because he’s there and likes me (the ex). One I like first. And that might like me back.
Ugh, I’ve been in that situation..very recently in fact. It’s hard to do, but you have to tell yourself “if it’s meant to be, it will be”.
Another good quote, and one I try to live my life by. I don’t have any great philosophy’s on life, I’m not a religious or spiritual person, I don’t believe in ‘fate’ as such, but that little quote sums things up quite nicely. If it doesn’t work, then it just wasn’t meant to, move on to the next thing, try something else, meet new people. Only problem is dwelling on the past is not an easy thing to give up :S But I’m working on that
Thanks for stopping by
Comment by shay — April 14, 2008 @ 1:14 pm
sweetie, life is too short for you to settle on the one person that is available.
All that a GIRL ever needs is ONE GUY who would be man enough to prove that guys aren’t all the same
hehe, I like that! the one guy who’s man enough to prove they aren’t all asshats… so true!!
Comment by sushi — April 14, 2008 @ 11:07 pm
I once tried to force myself to like someone. It just didn’t work. I figure I’d rather spend a lifetime alone than in bad company. That’s just the wallflower in me I guess.
Yea, tried that with all my ex’s! That never works…. I didn’t mean I would force myself to like someone, just that I felt some attraction to someone, which is a very rare occasion for me! But it’s good, it means I’m not ruling out other options in hope that one day the lawyer will actually work out, I will move on and find someone else
Comment by Kari — April 15, 2008 @ 2:00 am