InBlogNito

I’m so stressed out I couldn’t even spell ‘begin’, I started with ‘Where to being?’ which is also kind of relevant actually… if you fix up the shocking English.

Yesterday I had a job interview. It was a smallish agency that works on an area of policy I am very interested in. It all happened very fast, so I’m hoping for a quick outcome, whether good or bad! Last week I submitted an application and I didn’t get the usual ‘thank you for your application, we’ll be in touch’ reply, and because I had a bit of trouble with the email initially (which I was trying to sneakily send off from work!) I thought maybe they hadn’t even got it. Then on Tuesday I stupidly left my cell phone at home, something I NEVER do, and of course, I missed the calls and came home to phone messages telling me I had an interview. As I said, it all worked out because I had the interview yesterday. I think it went really well, although the more I think about it the worse I think my answers were! But I came out feeling really positive (had a sudden nerve attack right before I went in because it’s been so long), and I think it will depend on whether they saw me as being the right personality for the team, I think it was clear I can do the work no problems. They all scribbled furiously when I said the Deputy CE has complimented my writing on an important paper. So it’s a matter of wait and see, but keep an eye on Twitter (www.twitter.com/evilangel277), hopefully I’ll have some good news next week!

I’ve got exactly two weeks till I move, and I have not found anywhere to live. I’m getting awfully stressed at this stage, because this weekend is a holiday weekend and next weekend I’m away at my Dad’s birthday party, then it’s moving day. Our property manager is such an evil cow I want out asap, so when people ask me why I don’t just try and extend my current lease, they usually bear the brunt of my anger towards said evil cow. Plus I can’t afford the rent by myself. I’ve look at at least a dozen properties, and only one was worth applying for, which was so good that there were 20 other applicants and I didn’t get it. At this stage I can only cope with one thing at a time, there are half a dozen places in today’s paper, but I only rang about one and made an appointment to go see it. I have also started looking at flatmate wanted ads, just in case that turns out to be a better option. Ideally I would live with only one other person, or if it’s more, then I’ve decided an ensuite is my bottom line. Which of course limits the options, but I’m over the flatting thing, so I gotta have high standards if I do it. I’m also considering paying a bit more for a two bedroom place, setting it up, then advertising for a flatmate, at least that way it would be my house first, and I would be explicitly clear that I don’t need or want any further furniture.

I was just talking to my mum on the phone and she said she was looking online and saw someone a single draughtsman looking for a flatmate where I live, and how she thought that would be a good option for me. Well of course it’s gone now, I can’t find any such ad. Thanks for telling me when you saw it… that would have been a whole lot more useful! Plus single professional guy? More than just flatmate potential!

Also, to add to the stress, I’ve got 5000 words due at the end of next week, and I’m running out of time. I’ve already wasted 2 of the 4 weekend days (Friday was study leave, but I had the interview and a property viewing, Monday is a public holiday). I’ve got a few words written, and I will head the library as soon as it opens tomorrow. Am viewing a property in the late afternoon, it’s one I saw online previously, but I think/hope the kitchen pic’s are old, as in the paper it says it has a dishwasher and updated kitchen, and they’ve also dropped the rent so now it’s in my price range, so hopefully it’s a goer!

Wish me luck, here’s hoping I have a new job AND a new house by the end of the upcoming week!

So… it’s been a while, thought it was about time I wrote something. A TON of things has been happening since I last wrote. Holy crap, I just checked, I didn’t write for the WHOLE month of September! I didn’t think it had been that long…

Let’s do this by category:

Work (ugh, lets get this out the way)

I am still not liking my job at all, but I am totally kicking ass at it! Last year we went through this process that took SIX months of stress. This year I turned it around in 3 weeks, impressing not only my manager (who is easily impressed anyway) but the manager of our whole group, who wasn’t even there last year to see the big mess we went through. Praise from the group manager is not given lightly, and I’ve been complimented both on my excellent writing skills (yea, I know, I suck at the more creative writing) and the way I worked through this process so thoroughly and quickly. So I’m kinda glowing over that (trying just to glow, not gloat, it’s been a huge confidence booster). So the upside of my performance review being 4 months overdue is that things are looking a lot better for me now than they were 4 months ago so I’m hoping for a favourable payrise. There is a downside, more on that later. America is not the only country voting this November, and our own election is suppressing the job market in my line of work, so I’m kinda stuck with this for now. Like I say, not enjoying it, but at least I’m doing a good job and I’ll get a good reference when I do get to leave.

Home

Home kinda sucks… stupid flatmate is being as stupid as ever, she sold that stupid fucking couch months ago, but it’s still in our lounge and now she’s disappeared for 4 weeks. Thanks for the notice, she told K as she was walking out the door. I’m also leaving for 3 weeks and now I feel bad cos K will be home alone. She said it will be kinda good, but our house is big for one person! I hope she’s okay. K has also been kinda pissing me off too though, I kinda feel like I’m being taken advantage of now. The milk thing I keep twittering about is only one example. Since she got back from overseas we haven’t done regular groceries, which means we never have any food and as soon as we run out of something that we really need, I’m the one who runs to the supermarket and gets it. Which I don’t mind once in a while, but when I’m running to the store 3-4 times in between proper grocery shopping, and prices are shooting through the roof, then I start minding. I worked out I’m paying for about $17 out of the $20 we spend on milk every fortnight. $17, just for milk! And I thought ‘well maybe I’m the one who uses most of it, in which case I wouldn’t mind’, but nope… I worked it out, we definitely using about 50/50 each. One time I refused to buy any for three days and she still didn’t get any, then I had to buy it cos my mum was here and wanted coffee. But anyway, it’s about to become a non-issue, because I’m house sitting for three weeks, then we are moving out of here. K is going back home to study, which leaves me with one option only. Here’s the big news….

I’m going to be living alone! Yay!!! And also I’m a little nervous… I hate having flatmates most of the time, but I like having other people coming and going, it could be scary by myself. But I’m really not interested in starting all over again with new flatmates, I just don’t have the strength to deal with it. And I have the money now, I can afford to live alone. I won’t be able to afford anything else! But I can pay the bills. Which brings me back to the salary thing, this move will really tie me down to my job, I won’t be able to move onto a new position unless the salary is the same, which isn’t likely unless I put in another year or so where I am. With the job market being practically non-existant, it’s gonna be six months minimum anyways… so I don’t have a choice really. It’s kinda working out in the way of timing at least, I’ve got three weeks alone to be sure living alone is what I really want to do. It would have been nice to have another year sharing, but with K going, the only option left is living alone, the decision is kinda out of my hands, which suits me fine! I hate decisions. And I’m stuck with my job, so I may as well at least be happy where I live.

Study

Study is going amazingly well! I’m getting good grades almost effortlessly! At least it feels effortlessly because I can actually read and learn this year, something I couldn’t do last year because of the fatigue. It’s still taking some time and effort, but it’s far more enjoyable and I’m getting good grades. I have one more 5000 word paper to write by the end of the month, which I’m starting today, I’m taking one day a week off work for 3-4 week to focus on it. Of course I’m in bed right now and it’s 8am, I was wide awake early after strange dreams involving the lawyer and work all in the same dream, but at least I didn’t have to get out of bed in a rush this morning . I feel a leisurely breakfast over a couple of SATC eps coming on… I found the dvd’s really cheap the other day so got seasons 1 and 2, I’ll go back for 3 and 4 next pay day.

And speaking of the lawyer, things are slow… but kinda picked up where they left off once I finally got to see him again, so that’s good. I’m going to invite him over while I’m house-sitting so I can cook for him for a change. He probably thinks I can’t cook for shit lol. I love the company and everything else that comes with the ‘relationship’ we have, but I also love that I’m my own person, no check in with plans, or worrying about feelings. When we’re together we’re together, and when we’re not, then we have our own lives.

Anyway, that’s life in a nutshell…. overall, things are good, change is afoot, and I generally don’t like the process of change, I’ve already started house hunting and I’m stressed out by the crappy quality of properties in my price range, but I’m hoping for something good to pop up soon, I still have 5 more weeks so I’m getting in way early. But this is definitely change for the better. I’m off all meds now too, I was feeling generally crappy and so I stopped taking everything, and it’s been absolutely fine. I’ll be sure to keep you updated on the house hunting and will share pics when I find something.