InBlogNito

So… it’s been a while, thought it was about time I wrote something. A TON of things has been happening since I last wrote. Holy crap, I just checked, I didn’t write for the WHOLE month of September! I didn’t think it had been that long…

Let’s do this by category:

Work (ugh, lets get this out the way)

I am still not liking my job at all, but I am totally kicking ass at it! Last year we went through this process that took SIX months of stress. This year I turned it around in 3 weeks, impressing not only my manager (who is easily impressed anyway) but the manager of our whole group, who wasn’t even there last year to see the big mess we went through. Praise from the group manager is not given lightly, and I’ve been complimented both on my excellent writing skills (yea, I know, I suck at the more creative writing) and the way I worked through this process so thoroughly and quickly. So I’m kinda glowing over that (trying just to glow, not gloat, it’s been a huge confidence booster). So the upside of my performance review being 4 months overdue is that things are looking a lot better for me now than they were 4 months ago so I’m hoping for a favourable payrise. There is a downside, more on that later. America is not the only country voting this November, and our own election is suppressing the job market in my line of work, so I’m kinda stuck with this for now. Like I say, not enjoying it, but at least I’m doing a good job and I’ll get a good reference when I do get to leave.

Home

Home kinda sucks… stupid flatmate is being as stupid as ever, she sold that stupid fucking couch months ago, but it’s still in our lounge and now she’s disappeared for 4 weeks. Thanks for the notice, she told K as she was walking out the door. I’m also leaving for 3 weeks and now I feel bad cos K will be home alone. She said it will be kinda good, but our house is big for one person! I hope she’s okay. K has also been kinda pissing me off too though, I kinda feel like I’m being taken advantage of now. The milk thing I keep twittering about is only one example. Since she got back from overseas we haven’t done regular groceries, which means we never have any food and as soon as we run out of something that we really need, I’m the one who runs to the supermarket and gets it. Which I don’t mind once in a while, but when I’m running to the store 3-4 times in between proper grocery shopping, and prices are shooting through the roof, then I start minding. I worked out I’m paying for about $17 out of the $20 we spend on milk every fortnight. $17, just for milk! And I thought ‘well maybe I’m the one who uses most of it, in which case I wouldn’t mind’, but nope… I worked it out, we definitely using about 50/50 each. One time I refused to buy any for three days and she still didn’t get any, then I had to buy it cos my mum was here and wanted coffee. But anyway, it’s about to become a non-issue, because I’m house sitting for three weeks, then we are moving out of here. K is going back home to study, which leaves me with one option only. Here’s the big news….

I’m going to be living alone! Yay!!! And also I’m a little nervous… I hate having flatmates most of the time, but I like having other people coming and going, it could be scary by myself. But I’m really not interested in starting all over again with new flatmates, I just don’t have the strength to deal with it. And I have the money now, I can afford to live alone. I won’t be able to afford anything else! But I can pay the bills. Which brings me back to the salary thing, this move will really tie me down to my job, I won’t be able to move onto a new position unless the salary is the same, which isn’t likely unless I put in another year or so where I am. With the job market being practically non-existant, it’s gonna be six months minimum anyways… so I don’t have a choice really. It’s kinda working out in the way of timing at least, I’ve got three weeks alone to be sure living alone is what I really want to do. It would have been nice to have another year sharing, but with K going, the only option left is living alone, the decision is kinda out of my hands, which suits me fine! I hate decisions. And I’m stuck with my job, so I may as well at least be happy where I live.

Study

Study is going amazingly well! I’m getting good grades almost effortlessly! At least it feels effortlessly because I can actually read and learn this year, something I couldn’t do last year because of the fatigue. It’s still taking some time and effort, but it’s far more enjoyable and I’m getting good grades. I have one more 5000 word paper to write by the end of the month, which I’m starting today, I’m taking one day a week off work for 3-4 week to focus on it. Of course I’m in bed right now and it’s 8am, I was wide awake early after strange dreams involving the lawyer and work all in the same dream, but at least I didn’t have to get out of bed in a rush this morning . I feel a leisurely breakfast over a couple of SATC eps coming on… I found the dvd’s really cheap the other day so got seasons 1 and 2, I’ll go back for 3 and 4 next pay day.

And speaking of the lawyer, things are slow… but kinda picked up where they left off once I finally got to see him again, so that’s good. I’m going to invite him over while I’m house-sitting so I can cook for him for a change. He probably thinks I can’t cook for shit lol. I love the company and everything else that comes with the ‘relationship’ we have, but I also love that I’m my own person, no check in with plans, or worrying about feelings. When we’re together we’re together, and when we’re not, then we have our own lives.

Anyway, that’s life in a nutshell…. overall, things are good, change is afoot, and I generally don’t like the process of change, I’ve already started house hunting and I’m stressed out by the crappy quality of properties in my price range, but I’m hoping for something good to pop up soon, I still have 5 more weeks so I’m getting in way early. But this is definitely change for the better. I’m off all meds now too, I was feeling generally crappy and so I stopped taking everything, and it’s been absolutely fine. I’ll be sure to keep you updated on the house hunting and will share pics when I find something.